Well, I started this blog with the best of intentions. I meant to write regularly; if not daily then at least every other day. And I had such ideas of subjects to write about.. I was extremely excited about it all. And then, all of a sudden, my writing mojo left me. I don’t know where it went. I didn’t even feel it leave. One day it was there, next day it had disappeared. Gone, in the blink of an eye.
This has happened to me so often over the years. It is the main reason I have never been able to consistently keep a diary or journal. It is probably the reason why my book fell by the wayside, amidst the turmoil of real life. I lose motivation. I don’t lose the desire, oh no! Writing has always been a very big part of who I am, and the biggest dream of who I want to be. I don’t think I will ever lose that desire. But I find it difficult to get past that block, when I have been working all day and my mind is churning with endless lists of things I want to do and thinks I have to do. I just can’t find the energy to write.
It makes me wish that I had more time on my hands to indulge in my passion. But then, I suppose many others are in a similar position to me. Who wants to work a full-time job when there are so many better things to do? Who wants to work their fingers to the bone in some dead end job when we could be out there, chasing those elusive dreams? We would all love to work fewer hours if we had the chance. Unfortunately, we still need to pay the bills and put food on the table. Eventually, those elusive dreams become impossible memories as we work more and more hours to make ends meet, and become embroiled in workplace politics and potential promotions. That dream you were so adamant about chasing becomes a distant memory.
This kind of thing has coloured my writing history throughout the years. But now, at 40, I want to chase that dream, I want to catch it and fulfil my writing desires. Life begins at 40, but it doesn’t just drop into your lap. You have to fight for it. If only my mind would stop creating obstacles that appear too daunting and thus dampen my enthusiasm.
I admit, I am still finding my feet here on WordPress, and my blogs will often appear as rambling soliloquies. But all the better to improve my writing consistency – if it’s on my mind, I will write about it. Thanks for the follow!