Do you ever have those days when you feel alone? I don’t mean lonely, when you crave the company of another person. I’m not lonely, not in the slightest. I have my son, I have my cats. I have social media, where a plethora of “friends” await confirmation of my, and anybody else’s, attention. I have no need to feel lonely.
But sometimes, every so often, the solitary existence I have chosen to lead, calm and peaceful and free from drama, feels empty, and I wonder to myself, would anybody actually notice if I just…… disappeared?
Of course, I know that they would. There are those that depend on me, and who I couldn’t be without. But what about friends I haven’t seen in a while, who were once so close? Would they notice my absence? They once relied on me so much, yet now their life goes on without me. I am left looking in from the sidelines, forgotten and unnecessary, when I was once right in the thick of it, the centre of attention. But it wasn’t enough. I chose to move on, to “better myself”, assuming that nothing would change. My choice. Of course they would move on, eventually. I was a fool to imagine otherwise.
Or maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. Who knows.