Alone

Do you ever have those days when you feel alone? I don’t mean lonely, when you crave the company of another person. I’m not lonely, not in the slightest. I have my son, I have my cats. I have social media, where a plethora of “friends” await confirmation of my, and anybody else’s, attention. I have no need to feel lonely. 

But sometimes, every so often, the solitary existence I have chosen to lead, calm and peaceful and free from drama, feels empty, and I wonder to myself, would anybody actually notice if I just…… disappeared?

Of course, I know that they would. There are those that depend on me, and who I couldn’t be without. But what about friends I haven’t seen in a while, who were once so close? Would they notice my absence? They once relied on me so much, yet now their life goes on without me. I am left looking in from the sidelines, forgotten and unnecessary, when I was once right in the thick of it, the centre of attention. But it wasn’t enough. I chose to move on, to “better myself”, assuming that nothing would change. My choice. Of course they would move on, eventually. I was a fool to imagine otherwise. 

Or maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. Who knows.

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6 thoughts on “Alone

  1. I’ve had plenty of those days. I imagine I will have plenty more. I know in my head that this feeling of being alone will pass but I still feel that way from time to time. It’s hard to shake and is only gone when it passes on its own. You aren’t the only one who feels this way; who feels alone.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have been aware for a few years now that writing about my thoughts and feelings helps me to deal with them more effectively. I do suffer from self-confidence issues though, and feedback isn’t something I actively seek out, which is why it has taken me 35+ years to go public with my writing!

        Liked by 1 person

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