Hellhole

Down and down, I spiral;

I’m out of control,

I feel myself falling

into a gaping, black hole.

And who can save me?

There is no safety net;

my thoughts, they consume me,

why can’t I forget?

I want to be happy,

I crave it so much

but depression, it envelops me

with its cold, devil’s touch.

One day, I will fight this,

and leave it behind;

until then, I will suffer

in the hellhole of my mind.

Writer’s Block #2

I haven’t posted much recently, as you may have noticed. I’m not in the best of places right now. There is so much in my life that I am unhappy with, and although I am trying hard to change certain things, it just isn’t happening for me. Given time, I’m sure it will, but it will be hard work, and there is no option of a quick fix. I can feel myself becoming more and more disillusioned by the day, and I’m slowly spiralling down into a pit of despair. My life desperately needs to change, but I am beginning to doubt my own choices. I have taken so many wrong turns. It would be nice to have someone show me the way, but I am aware that only I can do that. 

So, until I am feeling more myself, I just don’t have the energy or the inclination to write, here or anywhere else. Hopefully this will change in the near future.

Thank you for following my blog. 💜

Happy New Year

As the year comes to a close, I can’t help but feel a little nostalgia. I am leaving behind so much more than just the year, and as I balance on the cusp of new beginnings, I am wracked with doubt and uncertainly of what lies ahead. The melancholy that runs deeply through my veins is brought to the forefront as December ends, and I find myself worrying. I even begin to rehash mistakes from my past, castigating myself for errors I have made, and things I could and should have done differently. If I am not careful, I may spiral into a depression that would ruin all of the hard work I have put into changing my life. This is not something I want, which is why I am writing it all down, in an attempt to deactivate these feelings of unworthiness. 2017 is sure to be better than the past year, and it will be if I believe in myself.

For all of you who are ending the year on a low, know that you are not alone and that others suffer in silence too. The bad times won’t last forever. Have faith in yourself. Happy New Year!